As human beings, we all sometimes find it difficult to understand and accept things that have gone wrong – either by ourselves or by others. We may then dwell in blaming, resentment or bitterness, and we usually do not become happier as a result.
The meaning and value of forgiveness
All religions and wisdom traditions recognise the value of forgiveness and the intention ‘to repair what’s broken’, as Coldplay elegantly expresses it in a song. Scientific research confirms that forgiveness is a golden path to health and well-being and, in contemporary positive psychology, it is mentioned as one of the 24 key virtues or character strengths that we can develop.
So I was delighted when Joyce Cordus invited me to join her in developing a training on forgiveness. The topic has held my interest for many years. Once bitten, twice shy. I have gradually come to taste the importance of forgiveness.
I am very glad that we already pay attention to forgiveness in one of the later sessions of the Mindfulness-Based Compassionate Living or MBCL compassion training. In the Mindfulness-Based Training in Forgiveness (MBTF), we have made forgiveness the entire focus of a six sessions – or three-day training, that can be followed live or online.
Forgiveness benefits
As a comparison, a mindfulness course can be compared to learning to drive a car. A compassion training can be understood as a slip course to develop additional skills when we encounter pain, difficulty and stress – in ourselves or in others. The MBTF can be seen as a rehabilitation training – it brings healing when we somehow get stuck. And as human beings we all get stuck sometimes, because we are not perfect. We all make mistakes or errors from time to time, and we can then easily cultivate an inner hardness towards ourselves and/or others.
How do I forgive?
In the MBTF we will explore different intentions and expressions of forgiveness, such as decisional and emotional forgiveness towards ourselves and in asking for forgiveness or forgiving others – at the individual level, regarding groups and communities and in relation to the increasing polarisation and harshness in the world around us. However, there will also be much focus on all kinds of dilemmas and difficulties in practice and how to deal with these wisely and compassionately. The training is secular in nature and scientifically screened. It is aimed at anyone who has been familiar with the practice of mindfulness for at least one year (e.g. through MBSR, MBCT, MBCL, MSC, Breathworks and other mindfulness-based methods) and wishes to nurture forgiveness in their heart.
We can look back with wisdom and understanding and learn from our own and others’ imperfections and move forward with more kindness and a lighter heart. This will ultimately benefit everyone.
For more information on Mindfulness-Based Training in Forgiveness (MBTF) please visit this website.